|petek, 4. april 201421:15 - KiborgSpužva BükingUFOMAMMUT (ITA)
UFOMAMMUT (ITA) - sludge/doom/pscychedelic/transcendental/loud as fuckkontakt: email@example.com« nazajkomentarji
Our consciousness has expanded in ways that it never should. We started thinking about things of which we should not think. What is our purpose here? What is time? What happens to us after we meet death? It was destined for us never to get these answers. But destiny has a mind of its own. These answers became clear to me in a vision that occurred to me not so far ago.
Thursday. On Thursdays I usually do something that every male of my species does. Viciously masturbate to emperor penguins while dressed up as a stormtrooper ballerina. But last Thursday was far from being average. It was as far from the usual as an Illuminati conspiracy theorist is from intelligence.
There was this eerie presence in the atmosphere. As I woke up, there were a few things different. The sun resembled a semi-transparent three-dimensional shape that was constantly changing dimensions, colors and... smell. I could smell it's colors, shapes and energy. I could also hear it. It sounded like random noises that later decoded in my brains as divine messages. I did not know if I was the only one who noticed that. Everybody I met during the day seemed normal. Nobody mentioned the sun and the noise to me, and I did not mention it to anyone else either.
The day started to become even weirder at lunchtime. I started cooking with the help from a cookbook I found recently which was written by the master chef Steven Reed. As I prepared the food and put it on my plate, the food ate and digested me. It was a strange occurrence that probably did not happen to me before. At least, not that I remember it. Getting high on cleaning fluids and penile discharge which is a product of Gonorrhea takes it's toll and kinda fucks up your memory. When the food processed me and I exited it's anus I was not hungry anymore. It was like I was eating food, but it was the other way around.
But I didn't concern myself with that for it was...
I opened the windows and turned on the lights, making sure that my neighbors would see me. I put on my stormtrooper ballerina costume, opened the documentary about emperor penguins, I applied humongous amounts of home-made lube which I make from tears of kidnapped orphans and began with the most furious masturbation so far documented by historians, biologists and creationists.
When I climaxed, the only things that came out of my illegally large penis were trapped spirits that I had finally set free. They were the spirits of ancestors of life on Earth. They died in another dimension before time and space were created. They told me that by setting them free they are obligated to tell me about the secrets of existence.
They began with time. How it existed before the creation of man and that now, time is just an illusion created by sentient beings to cover the fact that they killed time in order to get to it's fetal form which is a source of unlimited souls. But I was not interested in that story. I wanted to know what my purpose is. Why do I exist? What will become of me, when my soul leaves my body?
I was unaware of the fact that they had eyes. But when I asked them about my existence, their optically non-existent eyes lit up. Their voice came to me in physical form. The answer was:
'To see Ufomammut at Gromka, dipshit'
And then they dispersed. I felt alone, but full of knowledge. Now I know my purpose. I have reached a new level of understanding and now I am a complete being in harmony with the universe and unknown areas beyond our reasoning capabilities.
MESSAGE TO OUR VISITORS
We don't care who you are, or what ethnic, religious or other identity status you represent, we are all red on the inside. However, if you come to Gromka and show no respect to the people (fellow visi...
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